Devotion Round 2!

It was a busy day yesterday. Didn't had a chance to stop and relax..Well, got laa but i wouldn't say it's relaxing actually. Went for class in the morning, came out halfway to perform went back to class then watched movie with CY, Jin & Dear. Watched Kaiji a japanese movie about cards and life. The movie is quite ironic i would say. I could write a critical review about it. It talked about how hard life is and there is no shortcut in life thus it requires everyone to work hard in our life.

Anyways, then came back straight went to college to monitor the singing division and went to SS2 pasar malam straight. So freaking tired man!! >.< I felt so sinful yesterday...I think i ate too much weih...arrrgggghhhh~ But Dear say once in a while is okay and cause i dance every Wednesday & Thursday so xpelaa...but still...... @.@

After we were back, had devotion with Sarah & Jin for the second time. Yesterday the mechanism was that we pray for the person on the right hand side of us. We prayed for each other and also for CY. She felt touched and she cried! as usual laa..heee...Then Sarah prayed for me twice once was because she felt like praying & the other was because she felt God speaking to her.

God told her to tell me that God wants to grant me the Gift of the Holy Spirit. In addition, he would like me to know also that He provides me his love much more greater than of my earthly father and he gives me the love that i do not experience with my earthly Father. The moment Sarah told me that my tears started flowing laaa.. >.< The worse part was Jin was laughing!! ish!!! Then CY follow along crying..Lol...Well,I was really touched and felt better after that.

I would like to share something here about how i drifted away fom God. I personally think the reason would be because of the death of my brother. People say that death of someone close makes people question God. So i guess that was what happened. I questioned whether God even heard our prayers & how could this happen. I had so many unanswered questions and i was so angry and devastated at that time. So i felt like there's no use in believing in miracles anymore. I still attended church but i was kinda ignoring his word. I didn't want to listen and i was ignorant. I pray and all but honestly, it didn't felt sincere.

Like after i came to college and stuff, i felt like i wanna reconnect with God but i feel like there's something stopping me from doing so, like there's a barrier there because every time when i go church somehow, it reminds me of my brother. Sometimes i still feel insincere when i'm praying. Now i'm attending church with Sarah & going for Homes too & my dad accepted Christ just before he passed away & just recently my mom's been baptist too! It was my longtime wish last time that my family especially my parents would believe in Christ & accept Christ as their personal Saviour. I'm so glad that they did.

I still do think of my brother at times (like duh, of course!), thinking how life would be different if he was still here? Thinking if he would still be that annoying, crazy guy who always annoys the hell outta me? Thinking that how would it be like still have that support i once had? hhhmmm...

So i do hope to reconnect with God again. The devotions do make me feel much better & makes me closer and WANTING to be closer to God. But i can't do this alone so Sarah Lim..help me aite =)

Plus side, i slept really well yesterday night. =D

Prayer is medicine to the soul. ^^

Prayer makes my soul feel in peace. =)

Thank You God for bringing Sarah to me. <3

-June-