The Sixth Year, Feels Like A Long Time Ago

I am re-watching the Home Alone sequel as I am typing this post. Watching Home Alone, it brings back a sense of nostalgia. One that reminds me of a time when my brother was still around. It brings back the fuzzy feeling because this is one of the movies that I used to watch and re-watched over and over during Christmas and even though it's not Christmas. It is one of the memories that I remember watching with my brother and it was the time of the month even that we look forward for Christmas - singing Christmas carols from house to house, the great food, great company and Christmas parties. Also because close to Christmas it is my birthday! *grins*

I haven't blog about Tian Leng in a while and since today (3rd December) is his "anniversary", I thought that he deserved to know that he is not forgotten. Things have changed, people have changed... We all hope that you never left us during this very date 6 years ago. It's things like these that never change - the solemn feeling, the wishful thinking and the nostalgic memories. It's things like the memories of your cheeky remarks, the way you love to tease and bully, your seemingly rebellious nature yet still a dutiful brother and son that never change.

It has been 6 years already since his passing. Frankly when I look back at his pictures, his looks feel so foreign to me. It's because it has been so long that I have not seen his face and feel his presence physically that I have drifted away from how he used to look like. Now it feel as though it is hard to believe that I once had a brother. *sigh* I still wish that I do right now. I guess that is how it's like when you grow old in the future. I have always wondered and still wonder and I think will continue to wonder in the future, how my life, our family and life of your friends will be like if you were still here.

I believe that although many of us may be caught up in our daily routine life, deep inside each and everyone of us who holds you close to our hearts, there is a piece of you that remains with us. A place, an event or even the slightest familiar character of another person will remind us of you. Or at least for me that is. A fond memory of mine which I remember of Tian Leng during Christmas is our duet singing to Christmas Isn't Christmas (Till it Happens in Your Heart) during the house-to-house Christmas carolling. It's a really lovely song and I am happy that I once sang this song with my brother.

So here's to you dear brother, do know that you're never forgotten (at least until I am old and frail I guess *winks*).

An Inevitable Feeling

There's always a time for hello,

A time for goodbyes...

Time to meet again..

In a few days, weeks, months or years time..

But what if you will never meet again.

Or at least at this life.

Do you believe you will be reunited again.

Or be separated and never find each other again

What if it was the last time you will ever meet on that very day?

What will you do?

What will you say?

What will your head be thinking from that moment on?

There maybe hellos but yet it may not happen again

Sometimes it will be the last goodbye

And..you will never meet again

Not anytime soon.

The fate and beliefs we hold are different

We may not be reunited again.

So what happens then?

We do not know.

I would never know it would be the last time as it is all in God's hands.

I will start praying hard with tears falling to hope that a miracle would happen.

I will express how much I love You and I would hope for this to Not be happening.

I would think of a false hope and then realized that...

I could only forever keep You as a part of my memories from then on.

From being a child to a teenager and to an adult

Achieving  from Certificate to Diploma to Degree.

As many grey hair that will grow.

As many generations may come

Years and Years may pass.

That feeling on this very date is inevitable.

June