The Feeling That Was Lost

Life itself is like a cocoon.

It takes you a lot of "push" in life till you get beautiful results,

Problem is it all still comes to an end one day.

Just today, i heard of a sad news of which one of a guy from my high school passes away and he is only 20 years old. I probably seen him before but, however i don't remember him though. RIP to him as I know that he is a great guy through his friends testimonials. Anyways, though i did not know him, yet when i received the news, i felt shocked, stunned, and my heart felt heavy. This feeling, "Is familiar" i said to myself. I felt this way before. It hit me that it is the exact feeling and emotions that i felt 2 1/2 years back in 2007. It is the feeling of losing someone you know and probably, very close to you.

Do you feel what I feel?

I had not felt this way for a very long time since the day Sarah and Jin prayed for me. but receiving such sudden news and all the scenarios - the FB comments on the deceased page, the FB page and event set up for him. Somehow relates to what i had gone through. It reminded me of that nostalgic feeling again. It is definitely NOT a feel good thing. Even though as friends only, it affects much, especially if it is your dearest friend that you share your inside out or even your undies with.

I'd tell you how much I need you, yet, I just hope that you hear me now.

Yes, it is hard to accept at first and the day of the unfortunate incident is definitely going to remind of what has happened and is considered "the day not to be talked about". Maybe i was just ignoring that feeling and holding back myself to not think about it. That feeling is unexplainable, it is easier to feel than to define, easier to understand than to recognize that emotion. Being caught up in life's circle, you sometimes tend to forget it. However, as the years go by, no doubt it will be reminded subconsciously from time to time. As the years go by, no doubt it will be reminded subconsciously from time to time.

It is a good feeling for me as it reminds of You.

You will take time to think back of the smiles you shared,

The sorrows you cried over,

The stupidity you laughed through, 

The hard-work you sowed together,

One of the greatest person in your life that you once had.

Why is it that we do not think of all these before, but,

we only start to acknowledge them when they are, not here anymore.

June