The Sixth Year, Feels Like A Long Time Ago

I am re-watching the Home Alone sequel as I am typing this post. Watching Home Alone, it brings back a sense of nostalgia. One that reminds me of a time when my brother was still around. It brings back the fuzzy feeling because this is one of the movies that I used to watch and re-watched over and over during Christmas and even though it's not Christmas. It is one of the memories that I remember watching with my brother and it was the time of the month even that we look forward for Christmas - singing Christmas carols from house to house, the great food, great company and Christmas parties. Also because close to Christmas it is my birthday! *grins*

I haven't blog about Tian Leng in a while and since today (3rd December) is his "anniversary", I thought that he deserved to know that he is not forgotten. Things have changed, people have changed... We all hope that you never left us during this very date 6 years ago. It's things like these that never change - the solemn feeling, the wishful thinking and the nostalgic memories. It's things like the memories of your cheeky remarks, the way you love to tease and bully, your seemingly rebellious nature yet still a dutiful brother and son that never change.

It has been 6 years already since his passing. Frankly when I look back at his pictures, his looks feel so foreign to me. It's because it has been so long that I have not seen his face and feel his presence physically that I have drifted away from how he used to look like. Now it feel as though it is hard to believe that I once had a brother. *sigh* I still wish that I do right now. I guess that is how it's like when you grow old in the future. I have always wondered and still wonder and I think will continue to wonder in the future, how my life, our family and life of your friends will be like if you were still here.

I believe that although many of us may be caught up in our daily routine life, deep inside each and everyone of us who holds you close to our hearts, there is a piece of you that remains with us. A place, an event or even the slightest familiar character of another person will remind us of you. Or at least for me that is. A fond memory of mine which I remember of Tian Leng during Christmas is our duet singing to Christmas Isn't Christmas (Till it Happens in Your Heart) during the house-to-house Christmas carolling. It's a really lovely song and I am happy that I once sang this song with my brother.

So here's to you dear brother, do know that you're never forgotten (at least until I am old and frail I guess *winks*).

Feel like a Kid Again

Waking up in the morning realizing that there's a blanket over you.

Thanks mommy. <3

June

A story Worth Reading & Sharing

This is about a man who tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his first flight, brought emotions and made him realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Lufthansa.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.

But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for football, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have satisfied to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?


Same way, today, when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments.

Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care need to be given to our parents and elders.

Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of our parents. Don't take them for granted and make them feel small and unwanted in their old age. They too have feelings, dreams, hope, aspirations, wishes (and many broken/shattered ones) too while sacrificing them to give us our needs and our wants.

June

I know you are looking from above

I failed & achieved

I pursued & persevered

I cried & laughed

I was taken for granted & stood my own ground

I was dependent & now independent

I was naive & now am wiser

I was fragile & now I am stronger

I am continuing to reach greater heights,

Achieving my dreams and making it a reality.

As far as I have come in my life,

I hope I made you proud papa.
I Miss You.

I Love You.

Happy Father's Day. =')

The Daughter of a Great Father,

-June-

I'm a Survivor

I have lived for 19 years

Gone through all sorts of paths in life

Gone through multiple emotions

Happiness, Sadness, Sorrow, Anger, Ignorance, Shamefulness etc.

For that I know that there are other things that cuts deeper into the heart

I realized I am much stronger than I thought I could be..

I don't let some things take over my that easily because I know that it is not worth it

It's not that I don't care about it.

I just don't let it affect my other duties

Because I know there's a fine line between different aspects in life

And I know that I am bound to face even more harder obstacles in the future

So somethings good and bad, to me are just to be learnt of

Told ya i'll jump back real quick

Afterall...

'Jesus loves me this I know'

'When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are Family happinesses.'

'Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief'

Its because of these people

I know what I should do

I know they deserve to be happy

I know they shouldn't share my sadness and sorrow.

So not OK will also be OK for me lah

For Myself and for them all

I Smile 

I Laugh

I am Me

Life is colorful and has soo much to offer

To You With Love

Being the youngest child in the family, people tend to stereotype them as the 'spoilt', 'pampered' one and often said as them to be the ones that gets all the best things and are considered as the 'Golden Child' that parents will love them more than the elder children in the family.

Why would i say that it is true is because personally I am the youngest in the family and boy am I lucky. I get unconditional love from my parents. They usually give me the things that I want ever since young or most of the time when i ask for it, they will give it to me. Even if I prefer not to say I want a certain thing, they'd still say 'Nvm lah, you like it then okaylah'. Not only that, I have two awesomest siblings-My sister and late brother which I can tell you, is like the most amazing siblings that a sister could have. Both of them always let me 'go first' or 'take the things you want first'.

As much materialistic as this post sound but what I want to point out here is not about the things that i get. It is more of their character. Their heart, their care and their love. Believe me or not, I have never ever in my life been hit or scolded by my parents. If its like advise 'tegur' me got of course. I actually envy those who had been hit by their parents. lol. One thing I hate about my parents is when they give us the best of the best and they'll just take the 'rest' or 'remainings'. However, they are not bias too.

One is the person that I really look up to - my sister and the other is the one whom I inherited the carefree, playful character -  my brother. My sister is the one who taught me alot of things. She's the one who is responsible for moulding me and teaching me all sorts of things. My brother is the one who taught me to take life easy and live it to the fullest because you only life once. I guess i'm really blessed to have these contradicting siblings that made me learned a little form both.

Being the quiet child in the family (i'm serious) I learn to observe my surroundings and i learn to respect my family alot. I never fought with anyone of them before too. To come to the think of it,

I come be so Patient is because of these people.

I come to Love and not expecting love in return is through these people.

I learnt to Care for others sincerely is because of these people.

I come to Understand others is because of these people.

To Help and not expecting a reward is because of these people.

All I am today, my self esteem, is because of these people. All these traits can be a disadvantage to me but, I feel really blessed to be like that.

One thing i feel really amazed about myself is the ability to be patient with even the worst kind of people, or any situations to just be quiet and not fight back or question and just walk away until I think it is the right time to talk. Sometimes I'd blog about how i feel just to let the part of me out. Yet there are times where all the feelings are packed in my chest that I can't even breathe. And yeah, I prefer to keep problems to myself cause I don't like making my problem as a part of other people's problem too. So next time if you ask me a few times or so what's wrong and I answer Nothing. Stop bugging me and Stop asking. I will tell when I feel like it.

I wonder too whether one day I would just let everything out and burst into tears. That's the thing that i admire the most about myself - Patience (flips hair) ;p I don't know how I do it actually. I don't mind if the things I do, people don't return it. As long as they're happy, I'm happy. Just don't take advantage of me thats all I ask of. =)

I experienced the Love from my Family, I have got enough Love from my Family and am still getting Love from them. It's my turn to share the love that I have with those that I hold close to me. =)

Just Doing It With Love

-June-