There is a wall in front of me.
No one can see it, not even me.
But I know its there.
This wall is the one obstacle that I am glad that it is there.
The wall that closes all my thought that can ever connect me to him.
The wall that is blocking me from the fact that I know of but never want to think of.
I break that wall down sometimes but when I see whats behind it, I quickly build it back.
But when I reconnect with it again, I feel scared and terrified.
And then my guard goes down and I just crawl into bed and just let all of it flow.
Oh, it doesn't get old and I'll never get bored of it.
Every time by the end of my 'therapy', I will always think to myself.
"How life would be different if you were still here"