Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Its The Time of The Year Again!!!!

Its a time for giving..all the christians are busy with the preparations..if only snow falls in Malaysia..it is the time of the year again!!!where all the fun comes..it is not all fun only as it is also the day where the Lord Jesus Christ was born..it is

CHIRISTMAS!!!! yay!! ^^

One of the best thing about christmas is the FOOD!!! man..all the christmas goodies...irrisistable yummy food.. ^^ each year my church will have a christmas party and each of us would bring certain food..i really the Reverand's wife cooking because she is from Ukraine so it is nice to have a taste of something different..her cooking is really amazing..my favourite food of Christmas would be...emm...roast turkey??haha...yummy yummy...but actually i like it all.. *wink

Another thing i love are the decorations..the decorations are just awesome!!especially in the shopping malls in KL..it is so bright and lively during christmas.it feels as though the whole shopping mall is glowing with stripes of colours!!there are also Christmas souveniers and gifts and of course all the stuff that are on SALE!!hahaha...

Christmas is also the day when Jesus Christ was born..we will have christmas service on this day to celebrate the birth of Christ.many people thinks that christmas is all about gifts,Santa Claus,Christmas trees,parties and Santa Rinas but actually it is the day where a the christians celebrate the birth of Jesus.we wil sing carols from house to house spreading the good news.onther than that,it is also a time for friends and family to gather around and keep up with each other.its really a wonderful holiday.

yea yea christmas is one of the best celebrations(to me) as after two days is my birthday too..haha.. ;o) although receiving gifts is a thrill to us but we should give to others too.christmas is a time for giving..you must have heard before that "Giving is Better than Receiving".it feels good to do something for others..when you see others happy you'll feel good too..so its the season where it brings out the good in people.

for this christmas i have been quite busy..well..acually for this month..i had to make cakes for my sister's clients...it was alot of work ut i enjoyed it..haha..AND yaya..i know..i still owe SOMEONE chocolate cake..haha..actually not just someone..many ones..haha..well baking is one of my passion so i don't mind baking them..haha..p/s:don't worry guys..i'll give you your cake as fast as i can ok! ;)

well i hope this christmas will be a blessed one to all of us..nothing to write liaoo...just wanna say btw,i might not be able to reply ur msgs for these few weeks kay as i will be quite busy..i wish ya'll Happy Holidays and have fun for your holidays! and for THOSE friends of mine who are havin SPM nxt year..don't forget to study!! (yea right..as if thats gonna happen.. ;) haha) anyways always take care and hope to see ya'll soon ya!! Miss ya!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Happy 'Anniversary'

In just a twinkle of an eye It is the 3rd of December...sometimes we’re so busy with our daily routine we did not realize how fast time flies...so many things had happened within this year...however it feels...unsatisfying... it is lack of something...it is lack of someone...it is lack of our dearly beloved Tian Leng...today is somewhat called his ‘anniversary’...i’m sure as we’re living on this earth,going through this very day...we will be reminded of the past...the past that keeps haunting us about that incident..that unfortunate incident that happened on this very date...that incident that took a part of our lives away together with him...that incident that has made people change too...

On that day, i was at home as i did not followed my parents up to the hospital in the middle of the night. I got a call from my mom telling me to pack up some of our clothes and her friend’s son will send me up to KL. Somehow i was full of energy...when i was waiting for transport, my mom called again asking me whether i’m on my way and of course i said no. So she put down the phone and i waited again...after 15 minutes or so my mom called..before i picked up the phone i had this uneasy feeling..its like i had an intuition that something is not right..even before i picked up the phone i started to weep but i held it in. I heard my mom crying and at that instant i knew what that means. She told some things to do for the funeral procession and hung up the phone.

Once she hung up,i slumped on to the floor and burst into tears..loads and loads of tears...i tried to control but i don’t know why it just kept flowing. I told my friends and they called/sms trying to comfort me. Thanks guys for those comforting but honestly it did not work. I went into my room locked the door, sat at the corber of my bed and cried. After i manage to calm down a little, i went into his room,even before i could step into his room i started crying again..i looked around in the watery eyes of mine and all the memories started to appear in images in my head..i lied down on his bed..hoping that he would come in that door again with that startled and curious look on his face asking me what am i doing.

After i pulled myself together, i went downstairs to start cleaning up.even then the tears just couldn’t stop flowing. For those 6 days, i was like a crying machine..the tears would just pour out anytime even in the bathroom when i’m brushing or bathing..i would just silently weep..i don’t like to tell people that i’m crying or feeling sad. I don’t want them to be worried and start comforting me as i know that might not make me feel any better. Well after cleaning up the house i had few friends who visited me..thankz alot.. =) for that whole afternoon i was fine with my friends there to accompany me..until they sent his body back i looked at him but i did not cry...it was all ok until the funeral service started.

Actually,i did not really looked at him for a long time when his body was sent here in the coffin.. actually it’s kinda funny but i have this thought that if i stare at him too long his eyes would suddenly open and look at me and he would crawl out of the coffin or something...but i know that wasn’t gonna happen. On the last night of the funeral service, Prema stayed at our home.she was practically like family to us already. She wanted to sleep in Tian Leng’s room for the last time. When she was sleeping, she said she felt as though Tian Leng was hugging her from the back. She said it was so real and it was the same feeling the way Tian Leng hugged her. How i wished that i can experience that feel. Before the night of my SPM,I was crying and was talking to him but actually to myself that i hope that he would wish me good luck for my SPM...but it did not happened also...

While thinking back about that day he passed away, i felt bad...i felt regretful...i can’t really explain how was that feeling like but.. i was really sad that i wasn’t by his side when he passed away. He was like the ultimate brother..he was always there for me anytime, any day, any hour..he would find time to be there for me. its sad enough that when he was born i was not there for him, when he passed away i was not there also. My whole family except me, his good friends and Prema were by his side..but i wasn’t..i felt really bad about that..i don’t blame anyone but i just feel that after all that he has done for me, its the least i can do by being there with him when he took his last breath.i really hope that i could turn back time...

Maybe i shall call this day the crying day..because i know each year on this day,i will be reminded of what has happened because it is already a scar left in me..As we are on this day..each of us holds Tian Leng in our hearts..i know i am..so are many of us..

You have lived your life to the fullest,
You are the greatest son, brother and friend,
Love you Tian Leng,
Happy ‘Anniversary’.

as i am arranging and putting the flowers in your room...

i think of you deeply and dearly...

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